I was born into a Pastor's family but didn't get Things right about the Bible

I've always faced the pressure to be perfect and composed at all times since I was a little girl. I was born into a pastor's family and it only seems worse when both parents are pastors. I was labelled the good girl who knew all her memory verses - it stayed that way for a long time. Although I didn't understand most of what I crammed, they became my run to Bible verses. I could pick them from the top of my head anytime I faced uncertainties, fear and needed encouragement.

As I grew older, I understood the Bible passages better. I attended every church program and was in the choir. I fasted more than three times a month. Soon enough, everything became a routine for me.

I didn't get a lot of things right about the Bible. I knew Jesus died for me but at that time, I only saw Jesus as a faraway man who I was supposed to be scared of and who would send me to hell if I did something evil. The teachings I received from my Sunday school teachers and my Bible study leaders did nothing but plant fear in me. It wasn't their fault. I believe it's just about how much they understood. So I grew up to fear God. A fear that made me do the right things only because I didn't want to get punished. There were times when I'd go to sleep and wake up to find nobody in the house. I'd get scared that rapture had happened and I had not made heaven until I'd see other members of my family and be relieved. No devil, not today!

In 2012 when I was in part 2 of junior secondary school, I decided to give my life to Christ after watching a little lie. It was a movie that put fear in me. I was still afraid of going to hell but little did I know that that would be the beginning of a transformational journey for me. God started to transform me bit by bit as I surrendered to Him more each day. On some days in this journey, I've had to remind myself that God is in control.

In 2015, I began to read "Good morning Holy Spirit". I never finished reading the book but the little I read left me in awe of God. God had visited a guy in his room! He'd experienced God. I began to imagine what it would be like for God to see me, face to face. It hasn't happened but as I continue to daily surrender to Him, I can see Him make my life into something beautiful. At some point, my daily prayer (on days I remembered to pray consciously) was God, let my heartbeat in sync with yours. 

As I grew, I began to attend discipleship classes. I started with "Friends with God", written by Rev. Dr Sola Ayo-Obiremi. I went on to six basic lessons, follow the master, time management, serve the master, master life, experiencing God, the mind of Christ. Through these discipleship manuals, I began to slowly but surely understand God from the perspective of a good good father. Who loved me and wanted nothing more than to have a real, personal relationship with me. I learnt that God wanted to be my best friend. I began to struggle with everything I learnt while growing up. Wasn't God the one who threw disobedient people to hell? I wondered for a long time. God then began to make me understand that He has no interest nor takes delight in destroying anyone. All He's asking us to do is come with all the filth and the bad habits and allow Him to transform us. He loves us too much to leave us the way we are.

I've learnt that transformation doesn't come by my power. If I could transform myself, I wouldn't need Jesus. But the only thing is, I need to allow Him to do that transformation in me. I hold the key to the door of my heart. If I don't hand it over to Him, there's no way He can help me become like Him and only He can do that. On days when I do not focus on Jesus and His word or when I don't meditate on His promises to me, I still get scared that I'd miss my eternity with Jesus, especially when I've fallen into sin but when I pick my Bible up and have conversations with Jesus, my best friend and when I ask Him to help me with my struggles and I cling to Him, the fears disappear. My soul is lifted. I'm reassured that if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature. Since I've believed in my heart and confessed with my mouth that Jesus is the son of God, I am sure of my salvation.

My Christian journey hasn't been perfect but I have the best friend to help me through it. There are times when I forget that He's supposed to be in control so I try to do things without Him. Other times, He tells me to do some things. When I don't obey, I learn my lesson the hard way because when I realize my way doesn't work out, I go running back to Him. The amazing thing is He's always there to pick me up and help me. I'm not a perfect woman but I'm progressive.

I understand that God's grace is available through His son and that my sins are forgiven. I also know that when I accept Him, I have eternal life but that still doesn't give me the liberty to sin. While I have the assurance of eternal life in Christ Jesus, I also have a role to play. Daily, continuous surrender to Him who can transform me to the likeness of Christ is vital. Obedience to His instructions, growth and a heart that continually seeks Him should be my priority. One step at a time, transformation takes place; and that is the message of salvation, the life we enjoy in Christ Jesus.

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PS: This story is a real-life experience submitted in the Share Your Salvation Story Project. You can also share your salvation story by clicking here.