Apart from basic family and friends relationships, the first time I met someone who proved really difficult was in my first year at boarding school. I had to put up with him because it was the hostel and we were roommates. I honestly didn't know how to handle the situation properly and in most cases, he bullied me into doing very difficult and painful things.
In everyday life, we come in contact with different kinds of personalities - the cool-headed guy, the tough-handed man or just anyone with a different character and behavioural expression. This is one reason why in the division of temperaments, we have choleric, phlegmatic, sanguine and melancholic. Difficult people however, could fall in a mix of temperaments and that becomes an issue to handle.
As believers, we are commanded to follow peace with all men. This may be very possible with some individuals, but certainly not all. How then should a believer live healthy with difficult people?
1. Stay away from Anger
There is a popular saying that “Anger is one letter away from Danger”. Now, the reality is that it is almost impossible for the average person to stay without anger. However, the key is to remain silent (in speech and action) when you are angry. One terrible thing with anger is the fact that if you give anger expression, evil happens.
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2. Learn to Forgive
Forgiveness is not optional if you want to successfully live with difficult people. In our article titled Forgiveness Flows Freely, we discussed how that God forgave every human who would ask forgiveness even before they did. In the same manner, forgiveness for believers should not be an optional characteristic.
3. Don’t Worry about their Actions
Refuse to worry, stress or harm yourself when they behave difficult. Those who bring the battle to your face will leave with it if you do not attend to them. This does not mean that you totally neglect them. You should instead be careful to avoid a direct contact with the issue they want to raise in fight against you.
4. Understand the Laws of Relationship
Relationship with people are guided by many laws. The general law when relating with people is that when you
- Retaliate an action from someone, it has a degrading effect
- Dominate someone, it has an intimidating effect
- Isolate an individual, it has a frustrating effect
- Cooperate with people, it has an encouraging effect
Conclusion
It is very possible to relate well with even the most difficult people and cause them to relate properly in return. Gradually, they become better persons and the positive change effect sticks with them.
Matthew 13:47-end, Matthew 10:16, Matthew 10:5-10, Luke 6:38
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