She sat on her veranda with her head hanging limp between her thighs. She had slept the whole day and was just sitting out and staring. Food looked abominable to her. She lost appetite totally. It felt like her world was crashing and crumbling down. She knew she wanted to talk to someone but still she didn't want to utter a word talk more of reaching out to somebody. She was filled with anxiety and sadness so much that she couldn't hear the Holy Spirit silently whispering calm to her soul.
She had a rough week. She had finished university and for two years was waiting for a job opportunity. The waiting period wasn't easy but the Holy Spirit stood by her guiding her through it all. She finally got a job last month. She loved her job. She worked closely with the Human Resource personnel. She was so hard working and active. She got to work very early and left after she had wrapped up every work she had to do or finished a file she had to work on.
She got so busy and started to neglect her devotion with God and the companion of her best friend, the Holy Spirit. When she didn't have a white collar job, she sold a little provision store in front of her house. In between her sales, she read her Bible and communed with the Holy Spirit. She did little prayers from time to time and witnessed Christ to as many as came to buy from her. She had such an overwhelming relationship with God.
These pasts few months had been very busy. She basically slept off on her kneels when she tried to mumble some prayers out to God from time to time. She was worn out after the activities of each day. She soon forgot how important it was to hear and receive instructions everyday from God. The fire on her altar started to burn out. She was getting weaker and weaker. After each day's work, she still felt that deep void she couldn't explain.
Yesterday was one of those extremely bad days. She got to work as early as she always did. She sat down to start work immediately. She had rough edges with her boss as he always saw her as rude because she was always clear about her stands. That morning, the boss walked in and asked to see her. She asked her to see the HR. The HR that seemed to be very close to her since they worked hand in hand, didn't tip her of the current happenings. As a matter of fact, was also amazed. She didn't see a letter of dismissal coming. Her services were not needed anymore. But she was so hardworking and she just got here like a minute ago. She stood staring. Eyes teary, she picked up her few belongings and her friend, the HR walked with her out encouraging her. Just before she could leave, she handed her a copy of the Christian Women Mirror she had purchased from the Deeper life bookshop to pastime. She found it useful and thought it could be of help to her. She collected the magazine reluctantly. It was the July edition and it was boldly written on it "Remain Connected".
She got home and many thoughts ran through her mind. How she was going to feed and live was an issue. Moreso, she didn't still understand what she did that warranted a letter of dismissal. Balls of sweat from anxiety rolled along her forehead. She was weak. She just sat at her veranda and let it out. Silent but deep tears ran down her cheeks. She felt worse that she also felt the absence of the Holy Spirit in all this chaos. She just sat there staring. She felt weak.She got in and slept. The thought of food didn't seem exciting to her just yet. Later on, she ate a bit and continued to sleep.
This evening, here she was again at her veranda. This seemed like her new safe spot now. A place to just let it out. Yesterday after all the frustration and today yet again. It seemed like it was going to be a really long year.
After a week of mourning, she remembered the magazine from the HR and she just flipped through carelessly. She got to a page were it was written in bold letters "Your life may look upside-down, and all messed up; it doesn't take God anything to turn it right side up and make your situation an enviable one". That caught her attention. She took a deep breathe and thought about how she had missed the comforting words and presence of the Holy Spirit. She didn't stop. She kept flipping through the colourful book and admiring the graphics. Suddenly, a scripture caught her attention.
"I am the vine, ye are the branches..." John 15:5
She picked up her Bible. It had a sleek layer of dust on the cover. She quickly dusted her Bible and sat down to it. She read the whole chapter and understood what God was saying to her. The Holy Spirit kept whispering. He didn't stop. The calm she just felt from turning the pages of the Bible again was overwhelming. She further understood that she was a broken branch and she was gradually going to die off. Jesus loves her too much to reach out to her in the storms of her life at this point. It was time to get connected to her source and the vine and to remain connected.
She wept limply. A broken branch that would soon die off. The Holy Spirit was her superman. He came in and saved her. God had shown her mercy. A broken branch soon to be made whole, grafted back to blossom and bear fruits. She wept at the reality of God's love. He was always touched with the feelings of her infirmities. In this love, she stood complete. She was satisfied and comforted.
A reminder that God will never give up on us. Thanks for this.
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