Many things appear trivial on the surface and you could almost think they occur singly and are not tied to anything deep, but that's often not the case, especially when it comes the issue of identity.
First, what's your identity?
Your identity is your sense of person, what makes you feel important and validated. It's a conviction you have about your person that helps you have a healthy esteem and carry yourself as such.
With an healthy sense of identity, you'll correctly make decisions that are not laced with the need for validation. There are several telling signs that show that a person doesn't have this, five of such are outlined in this post.
1)You Seek Validation from External Sources
There's nothing wrong in being commended but a person with a healthy sense of identity understands that whatever commendation or compliment he receives is only restating that which he already believes about Himself. In other words, if you deem yourself important, you will not feel too privileged to be commended or complimented. Hence, you accept compliment healthily without seeing it as a validation but only as a means that restates that which already knows or holds true about yourself.
2. You see to Please Others
This is connected to the first. When you find yourself always going out of your way to please people, just to ensure you continue to be in their good books, then you most definitely have a poor sense identity. It means you look to others to give you the importance you have failed to give yourself.
3) You Always Go Out Of Your Way To Fix An Issue(A Fight) Even When You're Not In The Wrong
There's nothing wrong in being a peace maker but it must never be one sided. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you're the one who's constantly trying to fix things in a relationship (whether platonic or romantic) and the other fellow/persons do not reciprocate the same energy, watch it. The fact that you're constantly trying to keep things right at the expense of your own self, sacrificing your time, happiness, just so you could have the other person (s) happy and back in good terms in you, may mean that you do not see value or importance in yourself and you're seeking it on the outward at all cost.
4. You feel too Privileged To Be Around Certain People.
Another sign of lack of identity, which can also be called low self-esteem, is this. A sense of identity that teaches you to feel inferior to other people is no sense of identity at all. A person with a sense of identity does not consider himself too unworthy to be around or be in the same room with those whom he had always admired from afar. He could be grateful to God for it but he never sees himself as inferior to others. A person with a sense of identity sees himself as important, priceless and full of worth while still honouring others. He does not excessively screams out his lungs because a celebrity is around or sees the celebrity as some sort of god. He respects them but never considers himself inferior to them. If you ever feel too privileged to be with certain people, you may be nursing an issue of low self-esteem or lack of identity.
5. You Battle With The Feeling Of Not Good Enough.
If you ever wonder what's so special about your person or you're constantly confronted with the feeling that you're not enough and there's nothing good about you. You see other people's lives and you wonder if you're "a spoon". You think they're getting it and are the perfect humans while you are way too far from that, then you most certainly lack a sense of identity.
What then must you do to have a healthy sense of identity? Watch out for my post on that. In the main time, do well to follow, like and share. Thank you.
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