Peace

 You love Sundays. It's one of your favourite day of the week but you haven't been having that desire and yearning for the past two weeks.

You have been seeking answers to some questions. You have been asking your Father to shed light to some things but you haven't really been getting anything.

You know He hears you, you know He sees you but you don't understand the silence. 

Today, you're going to church again mainly to pray out your heart because you desperately seek answers. You sing, you clap, you jump, you worship, you cry but it's still the same silence.

You're getting frustrated. You become more frustrated when three people have given messages from your Father for themselves and the church but you're not getting anything. Nothing for yourself or for the church.

Your feel something is wrong with you. 

You keep straining to hear or see something, just anything, anything no matter how little or foolish it may be. You just want to see and hear but you're still getting the silence.

At a point, you burst into tears because you simply can't explain what's going on. It feels like your Father went on a vacation without giving you a heads-up. You feel frustrated more. You don't know what to do.

You're worried, you're scared, you're losing focus. But even in His silence, you could feel the nudge of peace saturating your heart. You know it's there but you just want more physical signs, more physical manifestations to hold on to. 

And then, you tell Him:

"Father, I know I am in your plans. I know you hear me. I know you see me. I may not see it now but I know you're working. I may not see anything but I know you're with me. I trust your decision. I trust you. I trust you. And I will stay in that trust. I trust you."

(N.B: this happened to me on Thursday. Infact, I had to send a voice note in tears to two people early in the morning and on my way to work, my eyes were misty. When I got to work, I had to excuse myself for a bit just to say that simple prayer. It's not totally the whole prayer, though. 

I have to understand that even though I may not see or hear, it doesn't mean He doesn't see/hear me. It doesn't mean I am out of His plans. I started singing and affirming more promises, letting my heart to gaze up at Him.

This is for someone who is/was in that kind of situation. God sees you. God hears you. You're in His plan.

It's not wrong to seek counsels if you can't seem to make head or tail of what is going on but even in the midst of it, let the assurance that you have Him saturate your heart. 

Let the assurance that He "gat" you satisfies your heart. Hold on to the hem of His garment. It doesn't tear.

Peace.)