To Let Go and Let God

The soft breezes of the pleasant Sunday morning wafted into the pristine windows of the church, calming nerves frayed by the hectic week that had just ended. The sun rays pierced through glass and seemed to outshine the light bulbs within. Latecomers shuffled along aisles, loathe to follow the smiling ushers to the front seats. Opening prayers had been said. Today, the choir seemed intent on bringing heaven down as they sang with radiating faces. It wasn't a special number as some had expected. It was an old hymn, sung with such depth that captured the attention of each congregant. It seemed the Lord had personally breathed on the song. A correct speculation, for the choir master and his crew had spent the last night praying that the people be pointed to Jesus.

Pastor Philip let his gaze sweep lovingly across the precious sheep the Lord had entrusted to him. The Holy Spirit had told him it was going to be a deliverance service. He realized now that deliverance wouldn’t be through vigorous praying today. The Lord was going to work in his way, in the hearts of His children, washing them with His word.

The last of the choristers left the podium and he saw with gladness that the Lord had already begun His work. Breathing in, he walked up to the pulpit, prepared to be a conduit through which the Holy Spirit could effectively nurture hungry hearts.

Mrs. Lisa sat listening to the pastor. It was her third time in the church and she hadn't found cause to regret each decision. Every minute spent there was a balm to her troubled mind. It had been half an hour since the choir sang but the lyrics kept weaving themselves with the pastor’s words, forming a fiery hammer that strove to bring down the walls in her heart—walls that had been made tough by bitter years. She longed to embrace the hope this pastor spoke of, longed to possess the calm that could withstand storms. Already she could feel the loving warmth of the God she had long abandoned and realize He never left her. She struggled. The lyrics came back…

‘Turn your eyes upon Jesus…

But how could she, knowing what she was.

‘Look full in His wonderful face…

She felt unworthy. So undeserving of such goodness.

‘And the things of earth will grow strangely dim…in the light of His glory and grace…

She stilled at the words, peace settling within. The pastor’s words found their way through her ears. “...following Jesus requires giving all. It is important you realize this…” The words he spoke seemed to be fashioned just for her. She listened more intently, sobbing quietly into her handkerchief. Suddenly it became clear to her what she must do to obtain this peace. She struggled against the opposing thoughts fighting for a place in her mind. She knew what the Lord would have her do, but knowing didn’t make it easy. “…and bleeding comes before healing. When He tells you to let go of the things you’d rather cling to, trust Him. He doesn’t seek to ruin you but to raise. Fix your gaze, your focus on Him. Isaiah 26 verse 3. He keeps in perfect peace those whose minds are stayed on Him, because they trust Him. Do you? ...”.

How could she forgive Richard after all these years? A husband who had left at the time she needed him most? Twelve years was a long time, enough to dull certain kinds of pain. Definitely not this one she bore. It still felt very raw. She’d been pregnant when he announced he’d gotten a job offer in the US. A job that could allow him study for his Masters while working. They had been elated, going over previous future plans, making happy new ones. A year and a half passed with just calls, emails and no sight of him. Daniel, her son, was about celebrating his second birthday when she saw the shocking pictures. Richard attired in a tuxedo with a woman dressed in white. It could only mean one thing. Frantic, she refused to believe her eyes, dialing his number every minute. 

After several days, he answered her tearful demands for an explanation. He argued that the pictures were true but not the wedding. The lady in white gown was a citizen and he’d only arranged the marriage to ensure citizenship and to secure his job. A neat story but hard to believe. The lady was dark in complexion, she’d screamed, and looked just like a Nigerian. Yes she was Nigerian came the response, and her name was Ifeoma. She was not to worry because they planned to get a divorce after a year...they stayed in separate quarters...he would be home for Christmas… . She’d believed him because she felt there was nothing she could do. A bare eight months later, her friend who traded intentionally brought pictures again. So much for believing he was going to get a divorce. Ifeoma and Richard stood before a sprawling mansion, holding hands with twin boys who bore a striking resemblance to him. She realized then that her husband probably was in an affair long before the scandalous marriage, maybe before he even went to the US. How else could he have two boys who looked about the same age as Daniel?

 

Read: 5 Lessons from the life of Jonah

Something changed within her then. She gave in to a pain that nothing could soothe. Richard had made her seem a fool. She’d put her life on hold for him and he had gone on with his. There was no word from Richard for the next two years until he called and told her he supposed she now knew the true state of things. He gave a weak apology and asked for an account number to transfer money for the upkeep of Daniel. The nerve. Now the defeat seemed complete, her own husband telling her with his mouth….

“…He tells you to come to Him and He will give you rest. Do not tarry in that world of pain. Come unto Him…” The pastor was giving the altar call now. She listened as he called, watching people make their way to the front. “Daughter, come to Jesus now. He is waiting for you...” She drew a deep breath, strength and peace filling her. She rose. Only His love could take away the bitterness that ate at her heart. Only Jesus could heal her. She half ran to the pulpit and knelt, not caring about the looks of the people. As the pastor led them in prayers, she laughed and cried. She could feel a huge burden coming off her heart and knew she was indeed home...