Popular Nigerian Actress and Evangelist, Tonto Dikeh has urged Christian men to stop hiding behind spiritual catchphrases and make genuine efforts in pursuing relationships, stressing that repeatedly saying, “God said,” is no substitute for intentional courtship.
The Nollywood star gave the advice in a video shared on her Instagram page, where she challenged Christian men to move beyond spiritual claims and invest time, effort and thoughtfulness in building meaningful relationships.
“Step up. Plan that date. Don’t keep saying, ‘God said,’ because God speaks to women too,” she said.
Dikeh criticised what she described as the growing habit of some Christian men relying on statements such as, “God told me you are my wife,” instead of demonstrating genuine commitment and responsibility.
According to her, using spiritual language to avoid putting effort into a relationship amounts to emotional laziness and misrepresents God’s character.
Introducing the discussion on a light-hearted note, she acknowledged that while the topic might sound amusing, it deserved serious attention.
“This is a very funny topic, but it is one that we actually need to discuss.
So, if you are a brother in the Lord, come forward; this is for you,” she said.
She lamented what she called the low level of effort some Christian men put into courtship, arguing that women in church deserve the same affection, attention and thoughtful gestures as everyone else.
“Why do church brothers think church sisters don’t require gifts? What about this low-effort thing you put into wooing or pursuing a woman? Church brothers would say, ‘God sent me to you,’ and blah, blah.
“God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God’s character.
“God told me you are my wife,’ is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort,” she stated.
To support her argument, Dikeh cited biblical examples, saying the Scriptures emphasise deliberate action rather than passive expectations in relationships.
Quoting Proverbs 18:22, she said finding a wife requires purpose, commitment and intentional effort.
“True pursuit requires investment. The passive ‘God will see us through’ mindset contradicts the Scriptures.
Proverbs says, ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing.’ Finding requires active, intentional effort.”
She also referred to the account of Abraham’s servant in Genesis 24, noting that he came prepared with gifts while seeking a wife for Isaac.
“He didn’t just show up with a prophecy. He came with camels loaded with gold, silver and precious gifts. I didn’t write the Bible.”
Using the story of Boaz and Ruth as another example, Dikeh said Boaz demonstrated care, provision and responsibility rather than relying solely on spiritual declarations.
“When Boaz wanted to marry Ruth, he didn’t corner her with a vision.
“He protected her, provided for her, spoke kindly to her and legally stepped into his responsibilities,” she said.
She added that if someone truly believes God has confirmed a relationship, such conviction should inspire maturity, accountability and honest communication, not replace them.
Dikeh further noted that the Song of Solomon highlights romance, affection and honour as essential elements of godly relationships.
“A woman of God deserves to be cherished, respected and treated with excellence.
“Spiritual maturity should elevate your standards, not lower them.”
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