How to Control Your Anger as a Believer

I hate the feeling of anger. I hate how it captures my heart and makes it race. Maybe it's just me but I wish the feeling of annoyance did not exist. But that's just the thing. It does exist. I get angry. The unpleasant behavior of some people have the ability to annoy me. And you, just like me, are no different. 

Apart from the concealed beauty there is in difference, every other thing that comes with it brings friction. We are all humans but with individual personalities that is ingrained into our very core. Some habits we display, we most likely imbibed unconsciously while growing up. Everything you learned from childhood and that you've experienced have pitched in in defining your character now. You are now your own person, with your own distinct behavior.

As much as you look like your sister, you are not your sister. You are probably quite the talker and active one and she, on the other hand, is content with just reading novels and talking only when necessary, because for her, talking is like a chore, one she doesn't really enjoy. Our dispositions have made friction inevitable as we coexist. God knew this would happen and yet, He went on ahead to allow these differences.

Now, maybe like me, you expect that giving your life to Christ and joining the body of believers, this friction will be eliminated but it is not and not surprisingly. As we come to Christ, we share His body and blood, we come together in the oneness of our faith and work towards fulfilling the eternal purpose of God for His church. The more we step into the revelation that we are the church, the more we begin to see the need to form a bond with each other, to love one another as we love Christ together. 

It is in this process of blending that we begin to realize that we are still humans, stuck in the fallen flesh as our body and as such, we see or notice qualities in each other that we expected to have died with the old man. This is where the trouble starts.

Believers are Spirit-led individuals that still have the physical body required to be called 'alive' in this world. So, we learn from scriptures that our spirits were saved, our minds, which is a fragment of our physicality, still needs to be renewed.

Therefore, believers may struggle to contain each other's differences and in the process, get into an argument or get irritated or pissed. In your local church, for example, there still might be that brother that hasn't yet learned to say a greeting with a smile and there's you, that's certain that anyone who doesn't greet with a smile has got a beef with you, so you hold it to heart. There might also be that sister that has always been loudmouthed and rude and who is still learning to take up the new man and drop this habit she picked up from childhood. But until then, she still unintentionally causes frights and quarrels in the house of God. This is one reason believers fall into a dispute. While we are all growing in the knowledge of the Lord, we are not all on the same level. Some people may know better than others.

I have heard a few random Christians say to forgive before you are offended. I don't know how that works for them because I have not been able to stash forgiveness away for bouts of unprecedented anger. I won't try to deny that I may be affected by the unpleasant characters of my fellow believers sometimes but I believe there is a much better way to go about it. God knew these quarrels may arise but He was looking at His church and seeing a people with renewed minds that can work through the roughness of their differences and produce the beauty He knows exist in there (Ps 133). He made a way out. He gave us His Spirit that is ever present in and with us. This Holy Spirit is the ever present Helper and we can call on Him at anytime.

The bible says the anger of man does not work the righteous purpose of God (James 1:20) and the same bible says be angry but do not sin (Eph 4:26). Does this mean the bible contradicts itself? No. What this means is that even though annoyance may creep up on you, you are to be reminded that anger/quarrels/disputes/unforgiveness are tools the devil uses to keep believers under His power and out of the will of God.

What this means is that as a believer, you can no longer make such statements like, "this is I behave when I am angry" or "I am holding back my anger because my anger is not good" and all other shallow statements we might have picked up. The Spirit of God in you fights against the spirit of anger that can lead us to sin. That is why anger is not a fruit of the Spirit. It cannot work the purpose of God.

So, what should you do when or if you get angry? 

1. Begin to Pray

Spend some 5 minutes or more, praying in tongues and talking to God about it. You are a believer, your life is Spirit-engineered, so yes, it is okay to pray when you feel hurt or cheated or annoyed. It is okay to ask for the Spirit's help to be able to get past it because forgiveness is Spiritual. The world tries to make it seem like you can be logical about your anger, maybe go out and have fun to forget or get past it but don't be deceived, the devil is waiting to see you try to beat him at his game, then he can lord it over you. We don't play the devil's game. We don't play with the devil at all. There's no need trying to prove anything to him.

When you begin to pray, you will feel the Spirit take the anger from you and show you how you can talk it over, if necessary, with love. As you pray, you will feel yourself beginning to let go and allowing God to deal with the matter. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to turn to the Holy Spirit for help every time.

2. Use the Word of God

Another weapon to wield is the word of God. Sometimes, the change we want to see in a fellow believer is waiting for us to start praying for them. The word of God says to love your brother. As you pray and allow God's word to settle in your heart, you find yourself in God's will.

3. Stay Calm 

You have a duty in God to stay calm even when it looks like