How to Control Your Anger as a Believer

I hate the feeling of anger. I hate how it captures my heart and makes it race. Maybe it's just me but I wish the feeling of annoyance did not exist. But that's just the thing. It does exist. I get angry. The unpleasant behavior of some people have the ability to annoy me. And you, just like me, are no different. 

Anger is a natural human emotion that can be destructive if not managed properly. It can ruin relationships, harm our health, and ultimately destroy our lives. As Christians, we are called to love one another and to demonstrate patience and self-control when facing difficult situations. However, anger can sometimes get the best of us, and it becomes challenging to control our actions.

In my personal experience, I have struggled with anger and allowed it to consume me to the point where I become unrecognizable when I am possessed by it. I let anger take the best part of me, the beast that emanates when I fuss scares me, and it usually destroys every good thing I have worked on.

I have learned that letting anger control us gives Satan a foothold in our lives, leading us to sinful attitudes or behaviors. Seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy, is an excellent way to learn healthy ways to cope with and express anger. I have tried taking a step back, breathing, and trying to approach the situation with a level head. I have also sought professional help to learn healthy ways to cope with and express this anger.

Apart from the concealed beauty there is in difference, every other thing that comes with it brings friction. We are all humans but with individual personalities that is ingrained into our very core. Some habits we display, we most likely imbibed unconsciously while growing up. Everything you learned from childhood and that you've experienced have pitched in in defining your character now. You are now your own person, with your own distinct behavior.

As much as you look like your sister, you are not your sister. You are probably quite the talker and active one and she, on the other hand, is content with just reading novels and talking only when necessary, because for her, talking is like a chore, one she doesn't really enjoy. Our dispositions have made friction inevitable as we coexist. God knew this would happen and yet, He went on ahead to allow these differences.

Now, maybe like me, you expect that giving your life to Christ and joining the body of believers, this friction will be eliminated but it is not and not surprisingly. As we come to Christ, we share His body and blood, we come together in the oneness of our faith and work towards fulfilling the eternal purpose of God for His church. The more we step into the revelation that we are the church, the more we begin to see the need to form a bond with each other, to love one another as we love Christ together. 

It is in this process of blending that we begin to realize that we are still humans, stuck in the fallen flesh as our body and as such, we see or notice qualities in each other that we expected to have died with the old man. This is where the trouble starts.

Believers are Spirit-led individuals that still have the physical body required to be called 'alive' in this world. So, we learn from scriptures that our spirits were saved, our minds, which is a fragment of our physicality, still needs to be renewed.

Therefore, believers may struggle to contain each other's differences and in the process, get into an argument or get irritated or pissed. In your local church, for example, there still might be that brother that hasn't yet learned to say a greeting with a smile and there's you, that's certain that anyone who doesn't greet with a smile has got a beef with you, so you hold it to heart. There might also be that sister that has always been loudmouthed and rude and who is still learning to take up the new man and drop this habit she picked up from childhood. But until then, she still unintentionally causes frights and quarrels in the house of God. This is one reason believers fall into a dispute. While we are all growing in the knowledge of the Lord, we are not all on the same level. Some people may know better than others.

I have heard a few random Christians say to forgive before you are offended. I don't know how that works for them because I have not been able to stash forgiveness away for bouts of unprecedented anger. I won't try to deny that I may be affected by the unpleasant characters of my fellow believers sometimes but I believe there is a much better way to go about it. God knew these quarrels may arise but He was looking at His church and seeing a people with renewed minds that can work through the roughness of their differences and produce the beauty He knows exist in there (Ps 133). He made a way out. He gave us His Spirit that is ever present in and with us. This Holy Spirit is the ever present Helper and we can call on Him at anytime.

The bible says the anger of man does not work the righteous purpose of God (James 1:20) and the same bible says be angry but do not sin (Eph 4:26). Does this mean the bible contradicts itself? No. What this means is that even though annoyance may creep up on you, you are to be reminded that anger/quarrels/disputes/unforgiveness are tools the devil uses to keep believers under His power and out of the will of God.

What Does the Bible Say about Anger?

The Bible says, "In your anger do not sin" (Ephesians 4:26), meaning it is possible to experience anger without allowing it to lead to sinful attitudes or behavior. (I'm not hurt or holding in unforgiveness.) This anger is propelled by any form of injustice I see being unleashed in a place where laws are meant to be honored, and reverence (church) is unexplainable.

As believers, we have the Bible as a guide to coping with anger. In James 1:19-20, it states, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." We should strive to be slow to anger and quick to listen, following the example of Jesus Christ.

The Holy Spirit is our ultimate helper in controlling our emotions and responding to difficult situations in a Christ-like manner. When we feel angry, we can rely on the Holy Spirit to help us choose patience, self-restraint, and love, responding with kindness and grace. Let us pray for discernment and guidance on handling challenging situations, and ask for forgiveness when we stumble. Moving forward, let us respond with love and trust in God's plan for our lives.

I rely on the Holy Spirit to help control my emotions and respond in a Christ-like way to difficult situations. To everyone out there experiencing unexplained fits of anger, join me today as we pray for discernment and guidance on how to handle challenging situations, and ask for forgiveness when we stumble. Moving forward, let's choose to respond with kindness and grace, even when it's difficult, and trust in God's love and plan for our lives.

What this means is that as a believer, you can no longer make such statements like, "this is I behave when I am angry" or "I am holding back my anger because my anger is not good" and all other shallow statements we might have picked up. The Spirit of God in you fights against the spirit of anger that can lead us to sin. That is why anger is not a fruit of the Spirit. It cannot work the purpose of God.

So, what should you do when or if you get angry? 

1. Begin to Pray

Spend some 5 minutes or more, praying in tongues and talking to God about it. You are a believer, your life is Spirit-engineered, so yes, it is okay to pray when you feel hurt or cheated or annoyed. It is okay to ask for the Spirit's help to be able to get past it because forgiveness is Spiritual. The world tries to make it seem like you can be logical about your anger, maybe go out and have fun to forget or get past it but don't be deceived, the devil is waiting to see you try to beat him at his game, then he can lord it over you. We don't play the devil's game. We don't play with the devil at all. There's no need trying to prove anything to him.

When you begin to pray, you will feel the Spirit take the anger from you and show you how you can talk it over, if necessary, with love. As you pray, you will feel yourself beginning to let go and allowing God to deal with the matter. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to turn to the Holy Spirit for help every time.

2. Use the Word of God

Another weapon to wield is the word of God. Sometimes, the change we want to see in a fellow believer is waiting for us to start praying for them. The word of God says to love your brother. As you pray and allow God's word to settle in your heart, you find yourself in God's will.

3. Stay Calm 

You have a duty in God to stay calm even when it looks like


As Christians, it is essential to manage our anger and respond in a Christ-like manner. Seeking professional help, following the guidance of the Bible, and relying on the Holy Spirit are ways to cope with anger. Let us choose love, kindness, and grace in every situation, knowing that God's love and plan for our lives will never fail.

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