Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences that we can go through in life. As a believer, it can be especially challenging as we try to navigate our faith during a time of grief. While we may not have all the answers, there are ways that we can comfort the bereaved and provide support during this difficult time.
It is first of all important to let the bereaved know that, you are there for them and that you care. This can be as simple as, being available when they need someone to talk to. At such times, they often replay the memories of the lost loved ones. This is not the time to talk about how much they have prayed or not, how much of faith they have or not and other talks that might make the bereaved feel less of a believer. The truth is, they probably have had that feeling in the grieving process.
Hence, the first way to comfort the bereaved as a believer is:
1. Do not dismiss however the bereaved might feel.
We all have different thresholds for pain and are at different levels of growth in our walk with God. No matter how much of a spiritual giant or midget we think or know the bereaved to be, allow them feel what they feel. We're humans after all which means that our emotions can be affected by circumstances. It is unwise to downplay such feelings, whether or not one has ever had the experience. It is not the time to begin to recount a previous experience, that too in the presence or hearing of the bereaved.
Even if one doesn't not understand the pain at the moment, try to see the situation for what it really is. A sibling in Christ has just lost another sibling; the extent of fellowship or interaction differs, hence the gravity of the pain. The caution only is in ensuring that the bereaved does not stay in that space of hopelessness. It is essential that they see the hope we have in Christ Jesus and the comfort of the Holy Spirit.
II) Offer Your Condolences and Support
Another way to comfort when someone we know is grieving is to offer our condolences and support. This can be done in many ways, including a phone call, a text message, a visit, or a sympathy card.
When reaching out to the bereaved, it's important to listen to what they have to say. Sometimes, they just need someone to talk to, and being a good listener or a shoulder to cry on, can go a long way in providing comfort. The most important thing is to let the bereaved know and genuinely show that they are not alone. This can also help in healing of the hurt; knowing that although the individual cannot be replaced, there are others that will standby until that time passes and even after.
III) Share Comforting Words from Scripture
As believers, we find comfort and hope in the promises of God. Sharing comforting words from scripture can bring hope and encouragement to the bereaved. For example, Psalm 23:4 says, "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." This verse reminds us that God is with us even in the darkest of times providing us with comfort and protection, even when it seems like no one is close or sees you.
Another comforting scripture is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, which says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." This verse reminds us that God is the ultimate source of comfort, and as believers, we can provide comfort to others by sharing the comfort that we have received from God.
IV) Pray with/for the Bereaved
Prayer is a powerful tool in times of grief; it can provide comfort and peace. As believers, we can offer to pray with the bereaved or for them. Pray for comfort, peace, and strength during this difficult time. It is also important to let the bereaved know that we will continue to pray for them in the days and weeks to come. This we must mean, even if it means writing it down somewhere and asking the Holy Spirit for help so as not to forget. It is often said to the bereaved but most times not done. This is understandable because it doesn't take too long to be occupied with one's personal business or life. However, a believer can take it upon himself to do differently. It is doable, keeping in mind is what helps achieve this.
Also when praying with the bereaved, it is important to listen to their needs and pray for specific requests. Do not assume that you know what to pray for, only the Holy Spirit can make intercessions in ways that you cannot. It is also important to remind them that, God wants to listen to them too even in that space grief. It is quite easy in a such time to begin to miss scheduled prayer times, study times, etc. Encourage the place of fellowship with God even if it means being silent in those times.
V) Offer Practical Help
In addition to offering emotional support, we can also offer practical help to the bereaved. This can include bringing meals, helping with household chores, or running errands. These practical acts of kindness can help alleviate some of the stress and burden that the bereaved may be feeling.
When offering practical help, it is also important to be specific and ask what they need help with. Some people may be hesitant to ask for help, so offering specific tasks can make it easier for them to accept.
Also, attending the funeral or memorial service can be some form of help to the bereaved. This can provide closure, a sense of community during a difficult time and helping them see that we honour their loved ones as well. If you are unable to attend the service in person, you can still show your support by sending flowers or a sympathy card.
Finally, we must also ensure that we allow the bereaved to return to their normal activities at their own pace. It is okay to encourage and be there for them, but it is advisable to not rush the process. Losing a loved one is not an experience that can be forgotten easily. Even when so much time have passed, the memories are still there. Hence empathy and sensitivity are vital in navigating such time with the bereaved.
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