While we always look forward to experiencing the indescribable exhilaration that comes with being in the Lord’s presence, no one is ever really prepared for the assortment of unavoidable drama that customarily comes with it. Though these medleys of gbas-gbos do not have a defined source or cause, they can sometimes be traced to the presence of first timers.
From the Church’s perspective, a first timer is a brethren:
no gender-bias, who is attending a gathering of a set of believers-church for
the very first time. These individuals who decide to commune with us for diverse
reasons, from different backgrounds always leave a lingering mark, which
sometimes could be that of extreme amusement. As you getting all fired up for
service, we advise you to hold tight to the mental note that you will most definitely
meet first timers: different types. Although you may have encountered some and their
very distinct characters, we would like to joggle your memory to those exceptional
moments and introduce you to other types on today’s Christian metro series.
The five types of newcomers you will certainly meet in churches are
1. The Bucket List First Timers
Ever wondered why the follow-up team has somehow failed in its course of secure a particular brother or sister? Be rest assured it has nothing to do with competency or negligence as the individuals in question are simply those who came to your church in a bid to get an extra tick off their bucket list. Shocking right? The bucket list first timers stand on a relentless mantra of visiting all and every church within and out of sight. There is no need to get your feelings crushed when your efforts to catch that sister that danced the most despite it being her first time in your service crashes and burns.
2. The Networkers
This set of first timers who are tirelessly on the hunt for people to sell their goods, services and ideas to have resolved there is no better place than the Church. They are characterised by their mental PowerPoint presentations, juicy discounts, unbelievable business partnership deals and near-fictional business ideas. Your church might be the next stop for Emeka Malay: we can tell you that for free.
Read: Biography of Prophet Samuel Kayode Abiara
3. The Ghosts
This set of first timers are a nightmare for the ushers
and follow-up teams. They are given the befitting title, ghosts because they
come into services almost unnoticed and slip out in the most discreet ways. Their
appearance and exit in services leave ushers wondering if they are merely
participating in a mind game of some sort.
They do not stand for welcoming, wait for introductions and shockingly care less about the epic chilled bottle of drink and snacks treat for newcomers.
4. The Dramatic
These set of first timers are an absolute sensation! This breed of first timers heighten the energy and vibrance in services by a thousand degrees. They are high-spirited, bold with their dance choices, dauntless during prayer sessions and hilarious on most occasions.
The dramatic first timers might slow the offering queues if there are any in your congregation, give you quality content during introductions and above all, they are a delight for the ushers and follow up teams
5. The
Critics/Content Creators.
The prevailing social media mania seems to have found a home in the
Church. With the upsurge of content creators, the ransack for content has hit
the Church in nearly unimaginable ways including bringing this unique specie of first timers.
How do you think that unforgettable moment the Choir director took a wrong
key dive made it to your Instagram reels? Is anyone ever prepared to be an
internet smash moments after busting killer moves and notes in Church? Everything
and anything do not go past the content creators.
Moreover, they are even more of a handful when they double as critics.
Anything the preacher says or does can and will be used against him/her. The
critics find faults like needles in a haystack: reviewing, reproofing and remodelling
every said word or action; one would wonder why they are not on the esteemed
panel of the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize in Literature.
You will certainly meet one of these peculiar people this Sunday or the next: watch out!
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