5 Types of First Timers You Will Find in Churches

 

While we always look forward to experiencing the indescribable exhilaration that comes with being in the Lord’s presence, no one is ever really prepared for the assortment of unavoidable drama that customarily comes with it. Though these medleys of gbas-gbos do not have a defined source or cause, they can sometimes be traced to the presence of first timers.

From the Church’s perspective, a first timer is a brethren: no gender-bias, who is attending a gathering of a set of believers-church for the very first time. These individuals who decide to commune with us for diverse reasons, from different backgrounds always leave a lingering mark, which sometimes could be that of extreme amusement. As you getting all fired up for service, we advise you to hold tight to the mental note that you will most definitely meet first timers: different types. Although you may have encountered some and their very distinct characters, we would like to joggle your memory to those exceptional moments and introduce you to other types on today’s Christian metro series.

The five types of newcomers you will certainly meet in churches are

1. The Bucket List First Timers

Ever wondered why the follow-up team has somehow failed in its course of secure a particular brother or sister? Be rest assured it has nothing to do with competency or negligence as the individuals in question are simply those who came to your church in a bid to get an extra tick off their bucket list. Shocking right? The bucket list first timers stand on a relentless mantra of visiting all and every church within and out of sight. There is no need to get your feelings crushed when your efforts to catch that sister that danced the most despite it being her first time in your service crashes and burns.

2. The Networkers

              Remember that zealous brother that left you alarmingly dumbstruck with his vim and vigour in one of the 2:0 cohort networking and billionaire mindset building trainings/sessions you attended sometime in the past and how you cannot help but wonder: Where he is now? Has he been able to grow a multi-billion-dollar enterprise from the trainings? Did he make it? It should put your pondering mind to rest that he was at your church last Sunday doing exactly and beyond all he was taught.

 This set of first timers who are tirelessly on the hunt for people to sell their goods, services and ideas to have resolved there is no better place than the Church. They are characterised by their mental PowerPoint presentations, juicy discounts, unbelievable business partnership deals and near-fictional business ideas. Your church might be the next stop for Emeka Malay: we can tell you that for free.

3. The Ghosts

        This set of first timers are a nightmare for the ushers and follow-up teams. They are given the befitting title, ghosts because they come into services almost unnoticed and slip out in the most discreet ways. Their appearance and exit in services leave ushers wondering if they are merely participating in a mind game of some sort.

  They do not stand for welcoming, wait for introductions and shockingly care less about the epic chilled bottle of drink and snacks treat for newcomers.

4. The Dramatic

These set of first timers are an absolute sensation! This breed of first timers heighten the energy and vibrance in services by a thousand degrees. They are high-spirited, bold with their dance choices, dauntless during prayer sessions and hilarious on most occasions. 

The dramatic first timers might slow the offering queues if there are any in your congregation, give you quality content during introductions and above all, they are a delight for the ushers and follow up teams

5. The Critics/Content Creators.

The prevailing social media mania seems to have found a home in the Church. With the upsurge of content creators, the ransack for content has hit the Church in nearly unimaginable ways including bringing this unique specie of first timers.

 How do you think that unforgettable moment the Choir director took a wrong key dive made it to your Instagram reels? Is anyone ever prepared to be an internet smash moments after busting killer moves and notes in Church? Everything and anything do not go past the content creators.

 Moreover, they are even more of a handful when they double as critics. Anything the preacher says or does can and will be used against him/her. The critics find faults like needles in a haystack: reviewing, reproofing and remodelling every said word or action; one would wonder why they are not on the esteemed panel of the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize in Literature.

  

You will certainly meet one of these peculiar people this Sunday or the next: watch out!