Church Confessions: “ I joined the choir because of my church crush. I didn’t expect what happened next.”

“I joined the choir because of my church crush. I didn’t expect what happened next.”

Let me just say this before you judge me:

I genuinely loved God.

I did. And I still do

I wasn’t one of those people who came to church only when there was free food or when someone promised to give out money. 😂 I attended services regularly, joined Bible study and tried to live right.

But when I joined the choir, my motives were not as holy as they looked.

There was a guy.

Yes.

A man.

And though I was a very good singer, that man was the main reason I suddenly developed an intense interest in choir ministry. 😂

His name was David.

I first noticed him during a Sunday service. He wasn’t even doing anything particularly dramatic. He was just standing with the choir, singing, holding his microphone and occasionally closing his eyes during worship.

But somehow, my eyes kept finding him.

You know that kind of person you notice once, then suddenly you start noticing every Sunday?

That was David.

He was tall, calm and always properly dressed. He carried his Bible everywhere and had this quiet confidence that made him look like someone who had his life together.

And the annoying thing?

He wasn’t even trying to impress anybody.

That made him more attractive.

So, I started asking questions.

“Who is that guy in the choir?”

My friend looked at me and immediately knew what was happening.

“Why?”

“Nothing. I just asked.”

She laughed.

“Amara, you don’t ask about men in church for nothing.”

I denied it, of course.

But I had already started noticing things.

I knew which side of the choir he stood on.

I knew he usually arrived early for Sunday service.

I knew he sometimes helped arrange the microphones.

And, embarrassingly, I knew exactly where he sat when the choir wasn’t ministering.

But there was one problem.

I didn’t know how to get close to him.

I couldn’t just walk up to him after service and say, “Hi, I think you’re handsome and I would like to know you.”

Please. 😭

So I came up with what I thought was a very innocent solution.

I would join the choir.

That way, I wouldn’t have to manufacture opportunities to see him.

Rehearsals would give us a reason to talk.

Services would put us in the same space.

And maybe, just maybe, we would eventually become friends.

At least, that was the plan.

I did my audition for the choir and I was selected. I told you I had the voice!

Then, I was supposed to join the rehearsals the following Friday.

I remember that fateful day - my first choir rehearsal.

I was unusually excited.

Not because I was particularly passionate about vocal harmonies.

Not because I had suddenly received a revelation about music ministry.

I just wanted to see David. 😂

When I walked into the rehearsal room and saw him, I almost smiled too hard.

I quickly composed myself.

“Act normal, Amara.”

And surprisingly, things started happening.

One rehearsal after the other.

We began talking.

First, it was just small conversations.

“Have you seen the song list?”

“Are you coming for Saturday rehearsal?”

“Do you know this harmony?”

Then it became jokes.

Then WhatsApp messages.

Then conversations that had absolutely nothing to do with choir.

And I started arriving early.

Very early.

Sometimes I would sit there pretending to be deeply interested in my songbook when what I was actually doing was waiting for the sound of the door.

Then I’d hear footsteps.

I’d look up.

David.

And suddenly, my day had improved.

😂

I won’t lie.

For a while, I thought my plan was working perfectly.

But then something happened that I didn’t expect.

One Sunday after service, our choir leader called me aside.

“Amara, we’re having an outreach at the hospital next Saturday. It’s holding by 10:00AM and we’d come for Rehearsals afterwards. But we need someone to lead worship. I’d like you to go.”

My first question came out before I could stop myself.

“Will David be going?”

He looked at me.

“No.”

I immediately became less enthusiastic.

“Oh.”

He stared at me for a few seconds.

Then he said, “Is there a problem?”

“No, sir.”

There was definitely a problem.

David wasn’t going. 😂🥺🥹

I almost found an excuse not to attend.

But somehow, I eventually went.

And that Saturday became one of the most uncomfortable and important days of my life.

I arrived at the hospital expecting a normal outreach.

Sing a few songs.

Pray.

Encourage people.

Give Gifts

Leave.

Simple.

But then we entered one of the wards.

And I saw a young woman lying on a hospital bed.

She looked exhausted.

She couldn’t have been much older than me.

There were tubes around her, her mother sat beside her, and there was this heaviness in the room that I couldn’t quite explain.

I suddenly didn’t feel like singing.

But I was asked to lead worship.

So I stood there.

I opened my mouth and started singing.

At first, my voice was shaky.

Then I settled into the song.

I closed my eyes.

For a few minutes, I forgot about everything.

I forgot about David.

I forgot about rehearsals.

I forgot about why I had joined the choir in the first place.

I was just singing.

When I finished, I opened my eyes.

The young woman on the bed was crying.

I thought perhaps she was in pain.

So I walked closer.

She reached for my hand.

And she said something I will never forget.

“Please, don’t stop singing.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Then she continued:

“I haven’t heard someone sing about God like that in a long time. I was beginning to feel like God had forgotten me.”

That sentence broke something inside me.

I stood there holding the hand of a stranger, and suddenly I felt ashamed.

Because I realised something.

I had been treating the choir like a pathway to a relationship.

Meanwhile, somebody was sitting in a hospital bed desperately needing the very thing I had been casually carrying around.

Hope.

David wasn’t there.

He wasn’t watching me.

There was no handsome choir member to impress.

No romantic opportunity.

Nothing.

And yet, that was the first time I truly understood why service mattered.

I went home that day and cried.

Not because of David.

Because I started asking myself:

“What if God brought me into this choir for something bigger than the reason I came?”

That question stayed with me.

And slowly, my attitude changed.

I stopped looking around during rehearsals to see whether David had arrived.

I stopped volunteering for things simply because I knew he would be there.

I started taking rehearsals seriously.

I became interested in learning.

I joined more outreaches.

I started caring about the people we were serving.

And, strangely enough, I began to genuinely love ministry.

Then came the part I wasn’t prepared for.

A few months later, I found out David was seeing someone.

Another woman.

I remember sitting down when I heard.

My first thought was:

“So what exactly am I doing here again?”

For a moment, I considered leaving the choir.

After all, the reason I had joined seemed to have disappeared.

But then I remembered that hospital.

I remembered that young woman holding my hand.

I remembered her saying:

“Please, don’t stop singing.”

And I realised something.

If I left now, I would be proving that I had never really understood what God was teaching me.

So I stayed.

I served.

I grew.

And eventually, David and the woman he was dating got married.

Guess who was in the choir?

Me.

Guess who was singing?

Me.

Guess who had to stand there looking happy while the man she once joined the choir to get married to someone else?

ME! 😭😂

Today, I can laugh about it.

Actually, I laugh very hard about it.

Because if you had told me on the day I joined that I would eventually be standing in a choir singing at David’s wedding, I would have thought you were wicked.

But looking back, I am grateful.

Because I entered the choir with one motive and discovered something much bigger.

I went looking for a man.

God introduced me to ministry.

I joined because I wanted to get closer to David.

But somewhere along the way, God got closer to me.

And perhaps that’s one thing I’ve learned about God:

Sometimes He doesn’t reject you because your initial motive isn’t perfect.

Sometimes He meets you where you are and slowly shows you why He brought you there.

So yes.

I joined the choir because of my church crush.

And no, I didn’t get the man. 😂

But I got something I didn’t even know I needed.

A deeper understanding of service, purpose and what it means to use what God has given you for somebody else.

And honestly?

I’d do it all over again.

Just maybe with slightly better motives this time. 😂

😂 Now, be honest…

Have you ever joined a church department, fellowship, ministry or even started attending a particular church because of someone you liked?

And did you eventually get what you went there for or did God give you something completely different?

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