In my first year at the University, I met Sister Grace who was also in her first year. A very jovial and sweet personality. She had a beautiful smile but don’t get on this sister’s bad side. She’d give you a piece of her mind, caring not who you are. She spewed words that shouldn’t be heard from a “born-again Christian.” I knew this sister too well because we came from home together. She's used to being insulted at home because she had a fight with her mum about her choice of career and refused to follow her mother’s wish because she had a passion, and she knew what she wanted.
Sis Grace is
very lovable. Always quiet at first. The moment she gets comfortable with you,
you’re in trouble in that you’ll literally have to beg her to stop talking. People
talked and complained but she didn’t notice she had this stain of insult in her
character. She doesn’t use the words “you’re stupid, mad,” or those kinds of
words. However, the way she’d speak, you wouldn’t need a soothsayer to tell you
she just trying to tell you that you probably don’t have sense. Her voice is
usually very loud, so you happen to not be the only person to hear her hurling
those words to you. Others around you get to hear it as well.
When we were getting to the close of 100 level, people started to notice changes in sister Grace. Her stain of insults was gradually washing away. She was becoming calmer and smiled more than she did before. There are some changes in behavior that people notice and wouldn’t say anything about it because they don’t believe it yet. Sis Grace’s case was different. A lot of people commented on her change in behavior. She was also happy with herself. We had a talk and I understood what happened to her.
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She really
never had the intention to hurt anyone with her words. I did forget to add that
she is very good with sarcastic replies. Which often sounds like an insult. Now
that she was changed, she used her gift of sarcastic replies to joke and make
people laugh, instead of insult them. Or she just laughs and walks away. Fine,
sister Grace got clad with the clothes of insults from home, but she later had to
put off the dress. She didn’t let her anger control her, because in a split second,
she could switch from smiling to hitting you with harsh words.
She told me
that when people had too much to complain about her than they had to compliment
her, she went to God in prayer and asked for a change. It so happened even she
herself was shocked at the turnaround. She didn’t just pray. There are other
instructions she had to follow and some scriptures that helped her. The day her
deliverance started was when someone used her water in the hostel and she got
mad because she fetched the water at midnight. She was prepared to fight the person,
but as the Holy Spirit would have it, she remembered she had a mentor whom she called
up that night, and he gave her this scripture;
Ephesians
4:26
“And
“don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you
are still angry,” (NLT)
It is
inevitable that you’ll get angry as a believer. As a matter of fact, some would
even intentionally get on your last nerve just to see what you’d do. Before you
get to sister Grace’s last nerve, she’d make sure she gets back at you with her
words. It can be safe to say she is always prepared for whether or not you’ll step
on her toes. Regardless of whether we have people like sister Grace or not, you
as a person should do well to guard and guide your heart. Now, it takes a very long
time, I mean a very long time for you to get to sister Grace’s first nerve; talk
more of her last nerve. Even if you’re close to her, she makes sure your words doesn’t
get to her. She had made sure to guard her heart to the extent that she knows only
God’s words defines her, and not man’s words.
People will annoy
you and offend you. People will start up quarrels and arguments with you. It is
now in your place to remember this scripture;
Ephesians
4:26-32
Be
ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
[30]And
grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of
redemption.
[31]Let
all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put
away from you, with all malice:
Why do you think
Paul first said, “be ye angry, and sin not?” He already knew there was no way offenses
won’t come. Letting those offenses stay is giving place to the devil in your life
and midst (vs 27). He also went ahead to say in verse 31, that “let all bitterness,
…, anger…” be put away from you. Which means, you can actually make a choice not
to get angry. You can choose not to let words of even fellow believers get to you.
All believers are not broken yet, as God would want it. But you can help them and
yourself, by not reacting to everything they bring your way. Take time to read and
reread and meditate on the above scripture. Don’t let quarrels go away without you
settling it, whether or not you’re right. There are cases of the Holy Spirit urging
a believer to go ahead and apologize first to someone who clearly offended you,
and through that, God has changed a lot of people. There’s also a scripture in Matthew
that we all chorus during service or during our quiet time, but there’s a probability
you have not let the scripture sink deep into you…
Matthew
6:12
“And
forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (KJV)
Dear reader,
no one has offended you more than they’ve offended God. God still always forgives.
It’s His nature. You’re of God, it should also be your nature to forgive ahead of
time. Nothing is too big for you to forgive. Sis Grace told me there are things
she found too difficult to forgive people for because of the kind of hurt it came
with, but by prayer, she was able to forgive. Even forgetting is possible. All you
have to do is let go of your hurt and let God know your stance and understand that
you’re ready to forgive whoever offended you. Letting the person know you’ve forgiven
them even before they find the initiative to ask for forgiveness is a good start.
However dear reader, you cannot achieve all of these without the person of the Holy
Spirit.
I’ll leave you
with this last scripture;
Proverbs
15:1
“A soft
answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (KJV)
Even when someone
is trying to get on that last nerve, you can change the narrative. You can choose
to be the peacemaker when someone is trying to bring trouble. Only someone whose
heart is seared with iron will be spoken to softly and wouldn’t back down from trouble.
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