The Ministry of Prophet Jonah is very much active in the contemporary church today. It's funny how Jonah wasn't the only person known for his notorious sleeping habits. I mean, take a look at Brother Eutychus who slept off while Paul - I mean, a whole Apostle Paul was preaching. Any way, the story of Brother Eutychus is for another day. Let’s face our Christian Metro series for today.
Sleeping is normal and natural. While it is popularly said that you cannot cheat nature, I believe there are things you can do and tips to help you stay awake during church service. Sometimes, sleeping in church is not deliberate - imagine coming back from a long day at work and joining service straight away - there are chances that you’d fall asleep. However, sleeping in a church, when such sleep could be avoided as there’s obviously no tangible reason for is our focus today. In this Christian metro article, we show you five kinds of people who sleep during church service.
1. The Eye-Glass Brethren
These are usually sisters (some brothers are included though) who stylishly sleep under the cover of their glasses. If you see anyone with big recommended eye-glasses, you have a suspect already. The highest grade of the eye glass brethren are those who wear dark shades inside the church building. If it were the overflow without a covering tent, I’d understand that they’re shying away from the effect of the sun… but using those dark shades in a comfortable air conditioned hall? My dear, you are a suspect as far as sleeping is concerned!
2. The Facecap Brethren
These are a unique set of people who sleep stylishly with face caps covering their sleeping mode. In the South Western extraction of Nigeria where I come from, guys don’t usually wear caps into the church as a sign of respect and honour. This makes the sisters our target here again. Especially during midweek service, that sister that looks all fine and beautiful, jumping during the Praise and worship session? Wait for the sermon to begin and off she goes to dreamland courtesy of her face cap.
3. The "I surrender all" Brethren
These ones take Jesus’ appellation of the church as “my father’s house” seriously. They usually sleep "scatteredly" as though they're in their bedrooms. If you are not careful, they will hang their legs on your head and probably drool from their mouths. They sleep in all comfort and convenience until something happens strangely and they almost fall off - that’s when they come back to their senses and realize they’re in church. I saw one of them the other day and from my honest assessment, if the Pastor would allow them, they would pass their pillows through the church doors just to sleep in the next service.
4. The snoring brethren
For these set of sleepers, they've become so comfortable with the house of God. Once they plug in to sleep channel, they are not mindful of anything. It would have been much better if their snores were only disturbing the persons seated next to them - but what would we do when their snores are competing with the audio speakers? If I find you do this in church, trust me to record your snore - then we'd play it on your birthday so your church crush would see you🌚ðŸ«
5. The Hyper-active sleepers
These kind of sleepers catch sudden Rhema, and only wake up when the preacher asks the congregation to shout a loud "Halleluyah" or "Amen". The best way to catch them is when they start saying rubbish when Pastor says “Turn to your neighbor”. If you’re not careful, they will curse you because Inmean - they’re just returning from dream land and didn’t even hear what Pastor asked you to tell the neighbor.
These guys are also funny because when you try to wake them up as an usher, they are quick to grab their pen, Bible and Jotter and will tell you that they were not sleeping. They can be too defensive and many times they leave the usher wondering whether or not he didn’t see them well.
6. The Prayer position sleepers
I found a new set of wonderful church sleepers. These ones have a unique kind of Jonah's ministry such that they initially paprticipate in the service and wait for prayer time. Then, they prostrate, kneel down, or lean on the wall and sojourn in the realm of the spirit to catch a revelation or two. If you have ever attended any long hour stretch prayers (like PDaniel's 21 hours), you would not be unfamiliar with these guys. For them, the rule is simple - once they assume a comfortable prayer posture, they are ready to fly!
Conclusion
While it is true that the house of God is your father's house, it is important that you do not turn it into a sleeping ground especially when a service is going on. In our article here, we compiled tips to help you stay awake during church services. You just might need them or send the links across to someone you popularly know to be a church sleeper.
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